I feel discontent.
I feel easily irritated.
Quick to anger and resentment.
I feel easily irritated.
Quick to anger and resentment.
What do I have to feel discontent about? I have a wonderful flat with comfortable chairs, cable tv, internet, etc. I have the ability to go to the mall and relax in free A/C while browsing. I have a wonderful roommate who is so thoughtful and reassuring as she tries desperately to understand the loud eccentric extrovert HE threw into her life. I have many new friends in the city. I have a Savior whose mercy is new for everyday.
So, why do I feel so edgy? Can I blame it on the heat? It does have a way of wearing one out and heating our emotions as much as our bodies.
BUT, I think there is more. I focus on myself so very much. I left my family. I left my friends. I cannot speak the language well enough. I am hot. I am tired. I was left out. I was forgotten. I have no purpose here. I cannot do it. I could do that better than they did. I was not asked. I hurt.
THE HOLY ONE WILL PROVIDE FOR MY EVERY NEED!
So, why do I feel so edgy? Can I blame it on the heat? It does have a way of wearing one out and heating our emotions as much as our bodies.
BUT, I think there is more. I focus on myself so very much. I left my family. I left my friends. I cannot speak the language well enough. I am hot. I am tired. I was left out. I was forgotten. I have no purpose here. I cannot do it. I could do that better than they did. I was not asked. I hurt.
ME
ME
ME
ME
ME
When did it all become about ME?
I think the enemy of my soul and prince of darkness loves for me to be discontented and displeased. If I am so focused on myself, how can I see the desperate need around me.ME
ME
ME
ME
When did it all become about ME?
THE HOLY ONE WILL PROVIDE FOR MY EVERY NEED!
I don't need to take offense at every minute hurt. I don't need to make every moment a battle. I don't need to fight for myself. I don't need to fight for my rights. I don't need to fight so that I can look better, so that I can stand out.
I have been crucified with Christ. I no longer live. It is Christ who lives in me. I surrendered the rights to my life a long time ago.
When I quit looking the small cuts I feel, then I will be able to see the bleeding hearts of those living in pain and sorrow around me. I will be able to encourage my brothers and sisters not try to tear them down because I have a scratch.
I have been crucified with Christ. I no longer live. It is Christ who lives in me. I surrendered the rights to my life a long time ago.
When I quit looking the small cuts I feel, then I will be able to see the bleeding hearts of those living in pain and sorrow around me. I will be able to encourage my brothers and sisters not try to tear them down because I have a scratch.
I will see the darkness with HIS eyes.
I will hear the cries with HIS ears.
I will touch this hurting world with HIS hands.
I will taste the victory with HIS power.
I will smell the sweet incense as souls are drawn to HIS mercy.
Let me remember its not about me.
I will touch this hurting world with HIS hands.
I will taste the victory with HIS power.
I will smell the sweet incense as souls are drawn to HIS mercy.
Let me remember its not about me.
Love love love love.
ReplyDeleteLove love love YOU especially.
I'll be lifting you up in the next few days.
This was beautiful. I'm lifting you up today
ReplyDeleteWow that was insightful. Hope you are having better days. Will continue to yarp with the father in your behalf that exciting opportunities will come your way. Love You
ReplyDeleteVery beautifully written friend!! I feel ya and asking for grace (for you and me!) to trust Him more!! Thank you for this.
ReplyDeleteWow, Melinda...exact. same. struggle. No lie. I even blogged about it too. ;) Remember that you're not alone. We're all together weak humans struggling to walk with Him. Praying for you!
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